From Trevor and Rosemary
Eulogy for Ruth Scales - read as part of the service at St. Thaoms' Church, Ipswich, 10th April 2017

Thank you all for coming today to celebrate the life of our mother, Ruth. Today is a difficult and emotional day but one which is filled with very many happy memories and love for a wonderful woman. She was a strong, compassionate and selfless person who was more keen on looking after everybody else than she was herself. A very proud and dignified lady with a wonderful sense of humour that endeared her to all who met her. Her thoughtfulness and deep concern for others forged many long lasting friendships throughout her life.
Mum was born in Great Bentley, Essex at a time when George V was the King. Her parents passed away when she was young and during the second World War, she was fostered, as were her late brother and sister, Peter and Mary.
In the 1950’s, mum trained as a nurse at St. Thomas’ Hospital, London and many of us here have probably heard many of her hilarious stories from her nursing training, particularly if she ever told you the story about collecting up, and washing, all of the false teeth together in a bucket on the ward!
After a break from working to raise us, mum returned to work in the late 1970’s but this time as a nursery nurse for physically and mentally handicapped children, all under the age of 5 in Gillingham, Kent. She loved her work and was always thinking of different ways to help support and engage the children in her care. Rosemary can remember a time when she asked to borrow a flashing light from her bedroom, as mum knew it would help to stimulate one of the children she was looking after. Of course, she was right and this particular child would move towards this light whenever it was switched on at the children’s centre. The light stayed at the centre and didn’t ever make it back home.
Our mother taught us many things including good manners, respect, honesty and strong moral values. She believed in the importance and value of a good education and made sure that we worked hard, not taking anything for granted or expecting anything to be handed to us on a plate. She too worked incredibly hard to give us everything we needed and it still amazes us to this day how she managed to achieve all that she did for us.
Mum had many friends of many ages. When it was her birthday or Christmas, the huge number of cards that would come through the letterbox were a symbol of the love clearly felt for her from so many people. Mum was always keen to have all of her cards on display, throughout the entire year. Who could forget the strings of cards on display in the lounge, getting fuller and fuller and straining under the weight. Easter, Christmas, birthday - it didn’t matter, they all stayed on permanent display.
Mum moved to Ipswich from Kent in 1999. This church, St. Thomas’, quickly became very important to her. She used to live just around the corner in Waverney Road and was a regular member of the congregation here. When she moved across town in 2003, she continued to attend St. Thomas’. Gradually over the years, she found it more and more physically difficult to attend the services here, but her faith remained important to her and she would receive regular communion in her home and we are grateful to Mary Duhm from St. Mary at Stoke, Ipswich for this. Throughout it all, she always continued to talk very fondly of her many wonderful friends, and memories, at St. Thomas’.
Mum loved the garden, the birds and everything and anything to do with flowers. Until even recently, she could still reel off many of the Latin names for a large number of the plants in her garden.
She loved all animals, supporting a huge range of animal welfare charities and really enjoyed it whenever Rosemary brought the dogs to stay usually chatting to them first, and before her daughter, when they arrived to visit.
As mum became housebound over the last few years, she loved to watch her collection of DVDs. She had the full range of Disney Classics to choose from but particularly loved John Thaw in “Goodnight Mister Tom’, which she, and many of us, must have watched thousands of times!
As you will all know, mum suffered from a number of long term chronic illnesses and battled very bravely through many difficult and painful days. But she was such a strong lady and continued to be cheerful and much more concerned about whether her visitors, carers or even the visiting doctor were ok than her own personal discomfort. Mum was extraordinarily well looked after at home by her wonderful carers, particularly Bernie and Jody, and we know that she, like us, appreciated everything they did for her. Her long-term wish was always to remain in her own home and we are so grateful to them for their kindness and wonderful long term care as they ensured this particular dream came true.
We want to thank everybody who visited and spent time with our mother as visits meant so much to her. We will always treasure fondly the many hilarious videos sent by our dear friend Jean of her visits to mum with them both laughing and joking into the camera. We also want to thank every single person in her wonderful care team and her good friends Linda Davey, Margaret Christian & Juliette Adams, who are here with us today.
Mum passed away peacefully in her sleep, at home and so determined was she to stay at home, she would have actually been delighted by this fact! We are sure that right now, she is looking down on us and telling us all to not make so much fuss and we are pretty confident she is catching up with her siblings and laughing with Auntie Doreen, Auntie Josephine and Uncle Fred. All of whom she missed terribly.
Our wonderful mum was a mother first, last and always, and her family was everything to her. She was a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother and proud of all of us. We will miss her dreadfully but we will also cherish each and every memory we have of her and we know that, through us, she is always with us and lives on.

“A loss of a mother can never be replaced,
But the love of a mother can never be lost.”
Kelly Flannery

With much love for our dear mum,
Keep smiling mum!

Lots of love,
Trevor and Rosemary